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‘Alien Romulus’: Rook takes pawns

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Spoilers lurk in empty space stations too! 

A gang of space colonists trying to scavenge cryo-sleep pods from a derelict space station come across the remnants of monstrous creature experiments the Weyland-Yutani Corporation was conducting there! 

Following the current trend plaguing films with a long-running franchise, Alien Romulus is an interleaved sequel, which is to say the film is set timeline-wise between the events of the first Alien blockbuster and the excellent sequel Aliens. Everybody got where we are? Then make sure your futuristic ray guns are fully charged so you can take on the Xenomorphs in Alien Romulus

Meet Rain (Cailee Spaeny) and her adopted synthetic “brother” Andy (David Johnson), who wants desperately to get off-planet and avoid the mines and further indentured servitude, which is a good deal harder than it sounds. So Rain gets together with other disgruntled colonist folk like herself – Tyler (Archie Renaux), Kay (Isabela Merced), Bjorn (Spike Fearn), and Navarro (Aileen Wu) – and hatch a wacky plan to swipe some cryogenic sleep pods so they can safely smuggle all of them to a nearby-ish idyllic planet system where they might live freely. This sort of trip normally takes years, hence the cryo-sleep pods. And Rain’s would-be commando pals all think it’s a pretty safe bet that this derelict space station they’ve found would have a bank of still-functioning cryo pods, so it’s off to play scavengers we go! 

The space station is indeed derelict, but it’s hardly empty. With the knowledge that the place was owned and operated by the Weyland-Yutani Corporation that’s all we the audience need to know, but our poor scavengers can’t make heads or tails of the clearly scientific experimental rooms, devoid of human presence but again, definitely not empty. And after a few rounds of catch-me-if-you-can with a roomful of face huggers, our scavengers come across someone, something if you want to be a jerk about it, that might actually be able to help them. 

They manage to get the synthetic android, Rook, the upper half of him at least, semi-functioning, and that’s all it takes for them to get a crash course in corporate greed and one particular aliens physiology and future potential, for Rook is still very much a Company man. And this means scavenging whatever information they managed to retain from their terrible experiments on the xenomorphs and their face hugger proto-form to get to the Weyland-Yutani Corporation by whatever means necessary, including co-opting and brainwashing fellow synthetic Andy to help him. 

The choice to use CGI and animatronics, built by Legacy Effects, and the visage of the late excellent actor Ian Holm for the countenance of the synthetic Rook was an interesting choice. It does keep a certain kind of continuity going in the Alien world and kind of cements where we are in the film timeline more, but I think the same effect could have been obtained with a different actor just as well. 

So the facehuggers are loose and the bigger scary-as-hell forms are starting to emerge and attack our scavenger crew, and somehow the pregnant Kay manages to get herself implanted by a facehugger, and the inevitable question of human-xenomorph hybrids begins in earnest – only a few hundred years before when it happened in Alien Resurrection

The whole human-xeno hybrid storyline, the proto-mashup thing that looks to me like they took an Engineer from Prometheus and gave it Xenomorph bones, and how quickly they adopt the need to shoehorn the two mismatched worlds of Prometheus and the Alien films into another Alien movie is entirely aggravating and unnecessary. The atmosphere of traditional Alien-style horror we came to love a very long time ago from Ridley Scott was carrying the movie just fine up to this point of sudden human-xeno pregnancy, traumatic birth, and the emergence (and thankfully, death) of this thing they simply called “the Offspring”. Again, the insistence to try and mashup two very different film worlds is unneeded and more likely to turn fans off both franchises. At least, former Romanian basketball player Robert Bobroczkyi and his more-than-7-foot-natural-height played the part of the Offspring, with only the tail being CGI’d, lending some vague manner of brief believability to the creature. 

It’s not as though the Alien films actually need a whole lot in the way of humans we care about, especially if there’s a pack of Xenomorphs scrambling around the station, or a fleet of green-slimed eggs that most definitely don’t have chocolate inside waiting to jump-scare the audience into oblivion. But if you’re going to have at least half the story be about the humans and their plight first, it would be better to give them something to make them less generic than “red-shirt A”, to try and give us the audience a reason to groan in sympathy when a chest-burster is born, instead of cheering for the baby xeno to go feast already! And to be fair, the first three acts of the film are quite good, in the OG Scott manner of silence-space-screaming horror that is now a genre standard. There is an almost long-standing non-tradition of being dissatisfied with the endings to the latter Alien movies anyway. 

Find out what happened to our scavengers and see if Rook takes all the pawns in Alien Romulus, in theaters now! 

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Red One – A fresh new action packed point of view on a classic holiday story

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Genre: Action, Comedy, Holiday Adventure

Director: Jake Kasdan

Starring: Chris Evans, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, J.K. Simmons, Lucy Liu

Rating: 4/5

“Where to start with Red One? From the rich folklore and wild imagination to the clever reimagining of classic mythology, this movie is packed with surprises.

First, it’s a fresh take on the Santa myth, blending humor, emotion, and action in unexpected ways. This isn’t your typical Santa—gone is the jolly old man squeezing down chimneys. Instead, J.K. Simmons gives us a buff, tech-savvy Santa, equipped with gadgets that let him shrink, grow, and bring objects into reality at will. He’s a Santa ready to take on Christmas with style, and I’m here for it!

Now, on to Dwayne Johnson. I’ll admit, I’ve been a bit weary of seeing “The Rock” play his usual invincible hero persona. But here, paired with Chris Evans, the chemistry is electric and refreshingly different. They’re equals, riffing off each other’s quirks and bringing out a new side in each other. Evans’ character’s sense of humor clicked with me, I would have chosen the Harley Quinn action figure!

Then there’s Lucy Liu, who brings her usual elegance and strength to the screen, kicking butt with style—she’s a standout in every scene. And Kiernan Shipka shines as the antagonist, stepping into her first major movie villain role with confidence and skill. She’s come a long way since Sabrina, and she clearly has serious range.

Red One gets a solid 4 out of 5 from me. It’s a family-friendly adventure with just enough twists to keep it fresh. For anyone looking to see a familiar story told in a new way, this one’s worth the watch.”

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Is This the Scariest Movie Ever?

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It’s been called the scariest movie ever. Or the grimmest, bleakest, and most brutal. The post-apocalyptic drama; Threads, has only been aired three times, its premiere in 1984 (appropriate year), 1985, and 2024 for its 40th anniversary. Threads has also been made available on streaming services. The anniversary has stirred up memories from its initial release which has been dubbed ‘the night Britain did not sleep!’

Threads is a BBC-produced TV movie which explores what would happen if a nuclear bomb was dropped on the English city of Sheffield.

The film is structured like a documentary; with a voiceover speaking to the audience in a clipped, received pronunciation BBC English. The narrator speaks over what is possibly stock footage of a spider weaving its web, or its threads. The narrator explains how in urban society everything connects and how we all rely on one another’s skills to survive. Ominously the narrator points out how fragile these threads are.

THREAD 1 – FAMILY

The film then cuts to our two leads Ruth (Karen Meagher) and Jimmy (Reece Dinsdale). These two young lovebirds are in a car over looking the Sheffield countryside. A fighter jet flies overhead as Ruth remarks how “peaceful” it is. We follow Ruth Beckett and Jimmy Kemp as they navigate an unplanned pregnancy.

The film plays like a ‘kitchen sink drama’. I have heard ‘kitchen sink’ described as an ‘anti-Hollywood’ where everyone has their natural teeth and skin texture. The film looks similar to a British soap opera. 

Whilst the narrative at this point just skirts around somewhat boring, it is clear something is playing out globally in the background. We see it on newspaper covers and hear snippets on radios and TVs. There is a situation unfolding in the Middle East with tensions building between the Soviets and the USA. Troops are mobilized and more importantly, nuclear warheads are moved. 

And then it happens.

THREAD 2- SECURITY

At almost 50 minutes in, the bomb finally drops. The literal bomb that is. The omnipresent narrator tells us it is 8.30 am in the UK meaning it is 3.30 am in Washington DC; Western response will be at its slowest. 

The bomb scene is incredibly powerful. This is where the ‘kitchen sink’ realism really comes into its own. It looks like any other British high street but people are running around screaming looking for shelter amidst the blaring siren. Children are being scooped up from their prams and the panic is palpable. Infamously one businesswoman is staring up at the blooming mushroom cloud rising above the city, the camera pans to see urine running down her trouser leg and pooling at her 80’s white heels.

There is constant screaming as buildings explode, windows smash, and curtains catch fire.

Text informs us that 210 megatons in total fell on the UK with an estimated 2.5 – 9 million casualties.

THREAD 3 – SOCIETY

Ruth exits her parents’ destroyed house to look for Jimmy. In her old neighborhood she is greeted by a horrendous sight. The whole street looks like that of The Blitz; with dead pets and both parents and children looking for each other. A shell-shocked woman covered in ash asks Ruth; “have you seen our Mandy?” she is proffering what looks to be a child’s coat, as if Mandy forgot her coat when going outside to play. A charred corpse with perfect white intact teeth (probably dentures) is embedded into a building. A staring woman is clutching the burnt remains of her infant.

After this, the horrific scenes come thick and fast. 

Food has become the new currency and food stores are protected by force. It is here we see the figure who has haunted many viewers nightmares. The armed traffic warden with the bandaged face. Played by an extra who actually was a traffic warden in real life!

Hospitals are overrun with the injured. The harried staff are using sheets as bandages and table salt to disinfect contaminated water. Doctors resorting to amputation with no anesthetic. 

THREAD 4 – CHILDREN

Ruth gives birth to a healthy child. A little girl named Jane. Ruth gives birth alone in a barn and has to bite through the umbilical cord. Later, on Christmas Day no less, a group of survivors gathers around a fire in the barn looking like a macabre nativity scene.

 But what sort of world has Ruth brought her daughter into? We are told it is ten years later and society has returned to medieval times with the nuclear winter and UV damage affecting the crops. Jane does not call Ruth ‘mum’ only ‘Ruth’ and has no reaction when Ruth finally dies. Are the people in this society so profoundly broken by the sheer amount of loss and trauma that they can no longer form familial bonds? Has that thread been cut? 

There is clearly little regard for human life anymore. Jane walks past three corpses hanging in the foreground paying them no attention. Is this a mass suicide or an execution? The corpses are also bare. Have people stolen their clothes to protect themselves from the harsh nuclear winter? Images such as these, shown for mere seconds can tell you so much about the situation. 

THREAD 5 – LANGUAGE

In the second half of the film, there is barely any dialogue. Any words spoken by Jane and her peers are some strange form of pidgin English. Many fans have argued that language would not degrade that quickly. However, these children have been brought up by deeply traumatized parents (if they had parents at all). People barely speak anymore and death and disease are extremely common. Is it any surprise that mankind has been brought down to its most basic level? Or is this the cognitive effects of growing up around high levels of radiation? 

Many fans comment how Threads gives no hope. But there appears to be a rudimentary school system-cum-workhouse with Jane and her peers watching an old educational video. Although the last scene definitely takes away from the tepid hope we are shown.

SO IS IT SCARY?

Well….as I had heard about the film through cultural osmosis I knew what to expect. I appreciate that during the 80’s, living in the fog of the Cold War, a nuclear holocaust was looking more and more likely. Having a film at that time showing exactly what it would look like if it were to happen in a typical British city would be horrifying. 

With the film being set up as a documentary speaking to some unknown in the future, it is interesting when you are watching from the future. Before COVID I would think it was so unrealistic; the way a lot of people didn’t take the crisis seriously until they were practically underneath the bomb. Now I know differently. Everything is fine until it’s not and we don’t tend to tackle a crisis until it is right on our doorstep. Like Mr Kemp with his trousers down on the loo as the bomb went off, we are so ill-prepared. And all the systems (or threads) in place that you thought would protect you, such as the government, are just ill-equipped.

It is an extremely well-done film especially when I learned the budget was £400,000 (about 1.2 million today). The acting is superb and I can see why it’s such an iconic film. In today’s current climate Threads is more relevant than ever. Would highly recommend it.

Five Stars.

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Venom Last Dance Delivers a Solid Conclusion To Eddie Brock and Venom’s Chaotic Journey

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Wrapping up loose threads while setting the stage for more cosmic threats. The film explores deeper layers of Eddie’s symbiosis with Venom, offering fans an insightful and emotional ride through their relationship. While the plot aims high with intriguing conflicts and darker themes, it doesn’t always maintain a consistent momentum. A few scenes feel stretched, slowing the pacing in spots. However, these moments serve to flesh out character dynamics and provide breathing room for the final showdown.

The action scenes, as always, are energetic and inventive, showcasing Venom’s abilities in new and thrilling ways. Director Kelly Marcel balances humor with horror, giving Venom his characteristic charm and chaotic energy. The supporting cast brings fresh dynamics, although some side arcs could have benefitted from more development.

What’s particularly exciting is how Venom Last Dance subtly lays the groundwork for the arrival of Knull, the god-like figure tied to the origins of symbiotes. The hints and lore expansions point to something vast and mythic on the horizon, leaving fans curious about the universe’s next direction. Despite a few slower moments, Venom Last Dance successfully wraps up Eddie and Venom’s story while setting up a bigger, more ambitious future. Fans of the symbiotic duo will find this a surprisingly satisfying, if occasionally uneven, conclusion to the trilogy. I would give this film a solid rating of 8/10.

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